Opportunities and activities abound.  Everyone is ready to occupy our time with this or that.  In my studies of success and high performers, a common thread has emerged.  Learning to say “no” is a significant contribution to their long-term success.  Saying no is difficult.  We naturally desire to please others or take advantage of what appears to be an amazing opportunity that could further our career or grow our business.  Opportunities come at us left and right, so how do we choose?  Why should we say “yes” to this opportunity, and “no” to that activity?  Is there a strategy that can help us say no with confidence that we are making the right decision?  I have developed a strategy that has become helpful to me and I hope it is helpful to you.

Step #1 –

Have a list of goals and priorities accompanied with a list of non-negotiable core values.  When we have a clear vision of where we are going, it makes it easier to say no to opportunities that are not in alignment with those pri...

Have you ever been sick and wanted nothing more than to feel like you did before you were sick? Have you lost someone close to you and in the midst of grieving, felt sorrow so deeply you wondered if you would ever feel normal again? What about the time you failed so miserably you swore you would never try again?

Life lived is like a roller coaster. We go up and we go down but that is the thrill of the ride. The majority of pain is temporary, but our fear of pain is permanent. Our fear of pain traps us on the hamster wheel of life. We don’t take the opportunity to get on the roller coaster because the easy path is the hamster wheel.

All things are temporary. Your current situation will change, but you must act to accelerate the change. You must act in your own self-interest to avoid being trapped in a life you didn’t design. I am not suggesting you disregard others in your action but acting in your own self-interest is making a plan and taking action. Here are some exercises you can d...

My father battled depression for many years.  This drug, that drug, this therapy, and that therapy.  He struggled as his enthusiasm toward life became non-existent.  He was excited about nothing.  The medication seemed to flat line his emotions.  We would be planning a fishing trip and he would be apathetic.  Fishing is a for him, but not while medicated.  Eventually, he was off the meds but still having ups and downs.  Then something remarkable happened.  His hobby of making pen holders out of mesquite wood blossomed into a service.  He began to give pen holders that he had made to service men and women.  First, it was one here and one there.  Over time, it has grown to hundreds each month.  He goes to the VA each week to express his gratitude to our veterans and present them with a pen holder.  He began to serve others.  His transition from depression to gratitude has resulted in relief from the depression that haunted him for years.  His regular expression of gratitude toward others...

There are only two types of people in this world.  The first type of people believes in a better future, positive outcome, the potential, finding a way, and hope.  The second type of people are full of doubt, negativity, frustration, blame, anger, and general gloom.  That is it, two types.  Which are you?  In my experience, most pessimists are absolutely clueless about their gloomy outlook.  They fancy themselves as realists.  After all, you can’t just go around fooling yourself into thinking everything is sunshine and rainbows.  These are the folks that make a snarky comment about everything and justify it as just joking when challenged, or maybe they say “Hey, keeping it real.”  They look at the beautiful sunset but can only see the power lines partially obstructing the view.  They can’t help themselves.  If there is an opportunity to cut someone or a situation down, they go for it.  They use their negativity as a weapon to diminish others and bolster their own self-esteem.  One of t...

What is my philosophy?  Have you ever asked yourself this question?  If you are like most us, it is likely that you have not.  Yet we all have an underlying philosophy.  This philosophy is present in every decision we make and action we take but the overwhelming majority of us have not taken the time to consider ours.  That is changing today.  We are going to work through an exercise that will help us better understand our underlying philosophy and begin to adjust it if we deem it incongruent with how we want to show up in the world.

If we have not taken the time to consider and develop our philosophy, it means that we have accepted and adopted the philosophy of others.  To me, this is a very scary realization.  If the general platform on which all my decisions are made has not been intentionally built, this means that I have adopted the philosophy of my parents, friends, community, alma mater, the media, and others as my philosophy.  It is almost insidious when I consider that my und...